How to spot a narcissist?

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The origin of the word narcissist is quite interesting. It’s a mythical tale of Narcissus, a man who was admired for his beauty. People were left spell bound when they saw him. The blessing turned into a curse when he saw his own reflection in the pool. He was unable to recognize it and sat transfixed near the pool gazing at the reflection. He died a tragic death.

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Although he died but he left his name as a trait for all the egotistical, self centered, self loving, vain creatures in this world- NARCISSISTS. Here is a list of traits which will help you recognize a narcissist.

 

1.In Love with themselves

“I am in love with you’, I responded.
He laughed the most beguiling and gentle laugh.
‘Of course you are,’ he replied. ‘I understand perfectly because I’m in love with myself. The fact that I’m not transfixed in front of the nearest mirror takes a great deal of self-control.’
It was my turn to laugh.”

-Anne Rice, Blackwood Farm

Narcissists love only one thing- themselves. For them whole world revolves around them and nothing else matters.

To fall in love with someone else, you first have to fall in love with yourself. If you yourself are unsure of your faults, shortcomings and weaknesses; if you do not love yourself for who you are, how can someone else love you?

2.The selfie lovers

Well these are the people who take out their cell phones every 5 minutes and say, “But first, let me take a selfie”. The song “#Selfie” sums up this point. This generation is going crazy with a selfie being uploaded every minute on Facebook and Instagram. I think scientist have invented a formula to find the level of narcissism.

N=S/h where,

N= level of narcissism

S= number of selfies

h= number of hours

3)Mirror is their best friend

Mirror mirror on the wall
who’s the Fairest of them all!

Narcissists love to check themselves out in the mirror. Not just in the mirror at their home but car windows, neighbor`s windows, front camera of their cell phone; anything that reflects back! The constant urge to see whether they look perfect or not, never ceases. This becomes a problem for people around them who keep on receiving their snaps 24*7!

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4)On social networking sites, everyone is in their friend list

 Ankit, Amit, Geetika, Jacky, Zack, Shin Chan, Honey – pick any name you want, you will find them in their list. Narcissists like to maintain a status. They have at least 300- 400 friends. No, they don`t really care about every single one of them, but each one contribute a like for their new photo or status. So they are worth keeping! They love showing themselves to the world, if there is no one to see online, what`s the point right?

 5)Conversation ends up revolving around them

Remember the time you started talking about an interview you cleared but later realized you are conversing about the movie your friend watched?  This is what happens when you are in a company of narcissist. No matter what started the conversation, in the end all you would talk about is his life. They love to be the center of attraction. Talking with them about someone else is hard as the signs of “no interest” show clearly on their face.

6)Appearance is their top most priority

They know what is in trend and what is not. They like buying expensive things to stand out from the crowd. Things which come with a big price tag attached. They dress up as if every day is a party. Everything is perfect- their clothes, accessories, face, hair and personality.

7)Bad listener

This shouldn’t come as a surprise! Narcissists are bad listener except when someone is complimenting them. They are never interested in what is happening in the world as they think they themselves are center of the world. Start sharing your stories with them and their mind will drift away faster than a sports car. The worst thing is they won`t even hide the fact that your story is of no concern to them.

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8)Easily Offended

Narcissists are offended easily. Even if the comment was not intentional or directed towards them, they will raise hell and start a fight over it. They will even make you believe that you are guilty of offending them when in the first place you never wanted to offend them!

Every person has some narcissistic qualities in them. Some like to show off their beauty, some like to show off their bank balance, some wants to let the world know how great their writings and paintings are. The truth is every person has something they want to brag about. In today`s era it has become very easy.

Finally, the quality which was once detested by the society is now embraced by them. Well not exactly embraced but needed. The top positions nowadays require such people. They exhibit confidence, authority to command others, they can get the work done in short they are performers.

But the lines between destructive and healthy narcissism are blurred. When it is destructive, people should seek out for therapy. When their behavior starts brewing trouble for others, when the self love becomes excessive, it is time to stop and think.

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