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When Silence sets in


Communication is the lifeline of a relationship. Without it, it starves to death.”

Communication, not just a simple verb but it is an essential part of human existence. And a human being just cannot survive with an absence of communication. With our family, with our friends, with our peers a communication is always needed to maintain bonds and most importantly with our spouse.

When a relationship sets off it is like a burning fire. So fierce and so bright that everything else seems faded and dull. The two people want to be constantly in contact with each other. Talking about each and every thought that crossed through their mind, and sharing every little detail of what happened in their day. They are endlessly talking to each other either directly or over the phone. And there is nothing wrong with it, I suppose. If you have somebody so important to you that you begin considering them as your ‘significant other’ then wanting to share your thoughts with them and talking endlessly with them comes naturally. There is a certain urge felt, to tell them whenever anything huge or minute happens in your life.

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But almost everything wears off one day. Love? Nah! But a relationship often needs more than that. It needs communication. No, you are not required to stay glued to your partner every second but also a decent amount of communication is necessary, for that intimacy and that affection to stay alive. And believe it or not, even the strongest of relationships can struggle badly once the silence sets in.

A strong relationship, how do you define that? No, you simply cannot. But it has to be one where the level of understanding and compatibility between two individuals is so strong that even days of silence and separation cannot create separation between their hearts and souls. Where even if they go days without talking to each other or seeing each other’s face the love between them only grows stronger and they keep getting fonder of each other with every passing day. But reality-check! A lack of communication can prompt issues in such a relationship too. When the two people completely give up on the habit of sitting with each other and talking for hours or over the phone they somewhere start preparing themselves to learn living without each other. And is that healthy for a relationship? No. It can never be.

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Why are long distance relationships usually a failure? Well, they have their share of cons (usually more than the number of pros). You are not able to meet your partner, or call them as often as you would while living in the same city and you cannot spend time together, of course. In such situations, somewhere the two individuals start building their own lives, with their own set of people, their own surroundings which are different from each other’s and if they quit communicating then those two lives become notably different from each other’s. If they no longer nurture the habit of conversing with each other regularly about all the random as well as relevant things, from their daily routine to their dreams and aspirations, the relationship starts becoming weak and less alive. Not just the two become extensively independent in emotional aspect but also the affection and the confidentiality that once existed goes away.

I believe “Distance doesn’t ruin relationships, silence does.” Be the two people living in two different continents or under the same roof if the silence sets in the relationship suffers.

All through my growing up years I have always heard my dad talking about how important a healthy communication is for bonds to stay strong. As much as this communication is required while living away from each other, it is necessary while living together. In a family you got to have at least one such person you can talk freely about without feeling judged or misinterpreted. And when we are talking about relationships, the silence can be deadly. I realize that now on a much deeper level, when I keep going crazy about talking to my boyfriend but the time and work commitments doesn’t let us. Oh there so many stories I need to narrate to him and so many stuff I want to blabber about! And yes I want to hear his stories too!

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Understanding each other’s silence more than their words is undoubtedly a cardinal facet of relationships. But the silence shouldn’t be there in the first place. No matter how difficult it seems, managing time to talk to your partner shall be among your top priorities. Don’t skip work and stay at home to skype them all day but when they call, take out some time to converse. Or after you are done with your work at office call them and talk. Before going to sleep instead of scrolling you news feed take out a little time to chat with them and ask them about their day. When you don’t have much work for the day set up a date and spend time together. When you have to rush for a day-long meeting leave a sweet text or a voice message. You may not realize it now but when silence sets goes out the window.

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