Love has been always glorified by the writers, poets, the people, the sages and ofcourse everybody else. Love is considered to be such a fruitful feeling. Love can be between a mother and her child, a father and a daughter, two friends, or between any two people or in a group. But the most glorified form of love is between the two lovers who overflow with emotions in tranquility and then a swoosh and a flick and all of a sudden this relationship becomes a nightmare for both. The fights tend to ever increase and there seems no way to get out of it. Everyone around gets a free show to see but who is the sufferer in this chaos? So why fight at first place? The question arises, how do you over power or control these little fights in relationships? If you don’t stop at the right time, you never know when the things can go out of your control! Here are the few efficient tips for the same:
Ways to Overcome fights
Do not get personal
It is a common sight to see people get personal and make personal attacks when they are in a grumpy mood. You get angry because of a particular reason but then you end up criticizing your partner’s personal characteristics for some reason or the other which has nothing to do with the present conflict. Such personal attacks on the character can be severe and demoralize the other to a great extent. This can be very dangerous in the longer run. Even if you patch up after a while, these personal attacks still remain fresh in the minds of your partner. Moreover, personal character attacks add fuel to the fight and are never helpful. Do not support your cause with such evidences!
Forget the past; Get over it!
If you have issues with your partner’s past or any other related activity that your partner was involved in the past which you think is like a transgression, then please try to digest the fact. Remember that you can’t do anything about what has already happened. Crying over the spilt milk will only make you more and more sad. Keeping such past issues in mind will never let you enjoy your present and future. Remember that no matter who your partner was with in the past, you are the one with them now.
Do not expect much
Most of the conflicts or dissatisfaction arises because you tend to expect more and more from your partner. This will never lead to a fruitful living. The moment you start expecting, you are digging your own grave. When your partner falls short of your expectations, you start moaning over it and getting disheartened is an obvious thing then. So why expect so much at first place? Well, this does not mean you should not expect anything, it is just that make sure you know there is a thin line between expecting and over expecting.
Just a small issue!
Do not have the habit of making mountains out of molehills. This is the last thing you need to do when you are in a relationship. Make sure you and your partner do not start quarelling over petty issues. Fine, he/she forgets your birthday; does that make a mountain fall on your head? Well, certainly not. Try to be sensible and handle things sensibly. Mark a clear boundary between small issues and bigger ones.
You might often think that you are being at the receiving end despite of the fact that you are utterly innocent. You should be patient at such situations. Having patience is the key in such situations. Anger is the mother of evil. So whenever your partner is angry, crossing the line is something you should be expecting at that stage. Do not say anything then. The moment the anger calms down, your partner will realize that you were being attacked for no reason and will certainly turn up to you with an apology.
Whenever you have done some mistake, you should have the chutzpah to accept it infront of your partner. You should not be sitting back thinking that accepting will make you feel smaller. Committing a mistake is not a problem, but failing to accept it is a sin. So have the guts, accept the thing and end the fight then and there itself. This is the secret to a successful relationship.
Do Not Retaliate
You need not respond to every single rant of your partner. At times if you don’t respond at all, your partner is bound to stop at some stage. He is not a factory of uncontrolled anger that would burn you off. The fumes will settle down and eventually things will get back on track. Have a positive frame of mind.
What’s the objective? Do you even remember?
It is a common sight to see that the people forget the main objective behind their conflicts. You should keep in mind that your agenda is to sort out the things and clear up all misunderstandings. Winning the conflict is not what you are fighting for. You have another arena for that which is known as professional boxing. Why don’t you try your hands there?
Relationship with your partner must be a jovial one. The feeling of love has always been sweet and will continue to remain that way. It is these fights that pollute the feelings. Spread the love!