The biggest tragedy in love is not being able to see through your partner. Maybe because you never really tried. You were happy with him and he said he would always keep you so. You both shared the deepest of secrets, tiniest of issues, heartiest of laughs and every bit of life. Slowly you came to realize what love really is and your relationship came to a stage where your life was more about him. He became your soul and you couldn’t even imagine your life existing without him. It bothered you even if he left your side for the night time. And then one random day, he left your side for the lifetime.
That’s a heartbreak. It hits you in perfection and leaves you in chaos. A lot changes in your life with a partner. It feels like a burden to even fake a smile. You stop communicating because you no longer trust people, be it family or friends. You never feel like eating or sleeping and most of the time you are haunted by the ghost of past. The change is inevitable. You are living a life that wasn’t supposed to exist. And the worst thing is you can’t even help it all. But all this sadness is nothing but a side-effect of life changing you back. When you are grounded enough to even fear looking at the sky, life is quietly lowering the sky for you. After teaching you the lesson of heartbreak it always teaches you the lesson of moving on.
Yes he was your dream come true. Yes you two were always supposed to be together. But so what? You never saw the future, did you? You never saw this time coming. All the while that memories haunt you, your friends would be hovering over you trying to make you smile, trying to bring back the old you. But you too know they won’t be successful. They will only be able to distract you while you heal and it’s the time that will heal. You don’t need to promise yourself to enjoy life to the fullest and not remember him, you will fail. Your promises can’t make you forget someone in month whom you loved for years. But even if you remember him twenty four-seven, you will heal; with time. It’s a natural process. So no need to make fake promises, just give yourself some time – an year perhaps – and then one year later, you will find yourself falling in love again.
It happens in stages, that’s why it is a slow process. It’s not possible to transform from an emotional turmoil to a happy-self in a matter of days. The journey completes in three stages. At the first, you learn to accept the change. You adjust to the daily life without him. At this time, life tells you that crying is not going to bring him back and slowly you stop with it. You stop with all the non-sense that’s useless now. The first stage lasts till you are able to deal with it and return to the normal way of life. This is mostly the hardest part as it is about learning to live without any support. The second stage teaches you to love yourself, love your singularity. It makes you appreciate your life as an individual and be content with it without anyone’s support. That’s when life teaches you that you are the one responsible for your own happiness and don’t need any help with it.
And the third stage is when you are able to look up to the sky again, only to find yourself already there. This is when your trust in people and faith in love returns and you are ready to fly again. You realize that all this was nothing but a part of life, a necessary evil and hence your search for true love starts all over again. These three stages take you from being broken in love to again being hopeful of it. The journey takes an year and teaches just one thing, to be happy. It’s never the end until you give up. However strong it may be, love is still just a feeling – some hormones at work – and there is someone for sure out there ready to make you fall in love again, start the journey once more with a new hope that this time in the end, the tears would be those of joy.
So the next time some unworthy guy leaves you, remember that it is the relationship that has come to an end, not the life. And the man left for good. Although it may not feel so at the start but give it some time, nothing else. Once in love, you will be good for a second shot but after a gap. And during that gap let your life lead you it’s way and you just hang on. It will let you down many times, give you countless reasons to curse it but in the end, it will raise you up. Go through the bad times practising a smile just because an year later that smile is going to make people fall.