While the reasons we fall in love are often a mystery, the reasons we stay in love are far less elusive! While the early months of a relationship can feel effortless and exciting, successful long-term relationships involve ongoing effort and compromise by both partners. Building healthy patterns early in your relationship can establish a solid foundation for the long run. There may be no such thing as the perfect partner, but an ideal partner can be found in someone who has developed themselves in certain ways that go beyond looks, charms and success. Here are some of the qualities an ideal partner should have.
Qualities of an Ideal Partner
A partner should be able to Build, Explore and Establish
Build a foundation of appreciation and respect. Focus on all the considerate things your partner says and does. Happy couples make a point of noticing even small opportunities to say “thank you” to their partner, rather than focusing on mistakes their partner has made. Explore each other’s interests so that you have a long list of things to enjoy together. Try new things together to expand mutual interests. Establish a pattern of apologizing if you make a mistake or hurt your partner’s feelings. Saying “I’m sorry” may be hard in the moment, but it goes a long way towards healing a rift in a relationship. Your partner will trust you more if he or she knows that you will take responsibility for your words and actions.
This statement is not meant to echo the ever-advised mantra that maturity is important. Being “grown up” isn’t merely a matter of not acting like a kid anymore. It’s not about a boyfriend who remembers to take out the trash or a girlfriend who never runs late. These qualities are nice, but to truly grow up means making an active effort to recognize and resolve negative influences from our past. They develop a strong sense of independence and autonomy. As they evolve within themselves, they are less likely to look for someone to compensate for shortcomings and weaknesses or to complete their incompleteness. Instead, they’re looking for someone to share life with as equals and to appreciate independently of themselves. Naturally, becoming emotionally mature ourselves helps with this process and dramatically improves our chances of achieving a solid and rewarding relationship.
Being Respectful of and sensitive to the other
It’s a necessity to respect one another, in terms of goals, success, accomplishments, thoughts, feelings and desires. Respecting each other’s qualities gives immense support to make the relationship work. If you dislike something about your partner you must not make fun of it and let your partner feel ashamed about it. That’s where you need to be a friend and support your partner and help him/her overcome it. Ideal partners respect the others’ interests separate from their own. Keeping in mind that everyone is not born perfect, you must learn to accept your partner the way he/she is.
Being open and non-defensive – Restrain yourself!
Research has found that couples who “edit” themselves and do not say all the angry things they may be thinking are typically the happiest. An ideal partner should be true, undefended and vulnerable. He/she should share or speak out his/her ideologies, feelings, thoughts, dreams, desires. This helps in better understanding. Also, one must accept his/her faults because every relation is built on the thread of trust, which once broken can never be as smooth as the initial one. A “win-win” stance means that your goal is for the relationship, rather than for either partner, to “win” in a conflict situation. Ask yourself: “Is what I am about to say (or do) going to increase or decrease the odds that we’ll work this problem out?”
Sense of humor
An ideal partner has good sense of humor. The ability of a partner to laugh at one’s self and at the foibles of life helps in decreasing the stress between both the partners. Here, a life-partner acts as a friend where he/she tries to sort out trifles or bigger issues with lesser stress and lesser impulsive decisions. Sense of humor acts as a life-saver in a relationship. It allows a person to maintain a proper perspective while dealing with sensitive issues. Moreover, it’s always good to have fun with your better half.
Communicating with the partner
Disagreements in a relationship are not only normal but, if constructively resolved, actually strengthen the relationship. It is inevitable that there will be times of sadness, tension, or outright anger between you and your partner. Reduce the communication-gap and listen to what your partner wants to convey to you. Be a good listener and resolve any conflicts that are creating distances between you and your partner. Give yourself permission to try out some new ways of handling conflict.Contrary to previous notions, the best time to resolve a conflict may not be immediate. It is not unusual for one or both partners to need some time to cool off. This “time-out’ period can help you avoid saying or doing hurtful things in the heat of the moment, and can help partners more clearly identify what changes are most important. Healthy communication is critical, especially when there are important decisions regarding career, marriage, and family to be made.
Establish an Atmosphere of Emotional Support
Emotional support involves accepting your partner’s differences and not insisting that he or she meet your needs only in the precise way that you want them met. Find out how your partner shows his or her love for you, and don’t set absolute criteria that require your partner to always behave differently before you’re satisfied. Providing emotional support to your partner will strengthen your relationship. Both the partners should be there for each other when one requires support relating to any kind of family and personal problems. Your partner will bestow that level of trust on you, and you will definitely be more than a life partner for him/her.