We human are social animals and blessed with the tool of communication i.e. conversation. We can connect with each other and share our ideas with the help of our language. We can’t imagine what the world would be like if we could not interact with each other and just keep on doing our own work. Well, in today’s world the social media has completely changed the scenario of personal communication. We just whatsapp or sms our thoughts to the other person without expressing it verbally and when it comes to talking to other people face to face, we often feel out of words. Most of the time, we really find it difficult to have a healthy and engaging conversation with others and have no idea how to go on with it. So, here are some tips on having some healthy conversation with other people.
1. There is no need to argue.
What we mostly do is to try to prove ourselves right by arguing with other people about everything. But we need to understand that when we argue with someone then he has no other option but to defend his ideas and keep his self esteem intact. It does not mean that we always have to accept everything what they say without expressing our opinion. It simply means that we should not try to prove them wrong by passing nasty comments or negative remarks but we should realize that they are just acting within the limits of their level of awareness. So, just listen to what they say and then express your own opinion without saying that they are wrong and then it is on them to accept or reject your opinion. Comments passed during arguments often hurt feelings of people so there is no need to argue but to understand what they are actually saying.
2. Just Listen More.
This is really a powerful aspect of conversation because if we keep on babbling what we think, what we do, what hobbies we have etc etc. then we are sucking the interest factor out of the conversation. But if you listen to them more then you automatically become a good conversationalist for them because everybody needs someone who can listen to them with total interest. But what we actually do? We never listen carefully what the other person is saying and always planning about our next words to say. That is the reason we keep forgetting people’s names, addresses, birthdays etc. If we grow a habit of listening more and more without emphasizing on talking then they will automatically find us interesting and will be more willing to share their experiences and thoughts with us. “Seek first to understand and then to be understood.”
3. Use more of “Yes and ….” Thing.
This stance is really helpful if you want to indulge in a healthy conversation because when you add “Yes and..” at the start of your every reply, it validates the view of both person talking. It makes them believe that their opinion is also valuable and as a result, they feel safe around us. It becomes easier for them to accept your feedback and they won’t hesitate to change their opinion. So, it is very important to listen to the view of other person and then express you view by adding “Yes and….” at the starting of your answers often.
4. Use “I” Messages more.
If you use the I sentences more like “I feel that we are not coming to any conclusion right now so I want to discuss about some other day. I would like to know your opinion about this.” It shows that you are taking total responsibility of what you are saying. If we keep using “you” again and again then it may sound quite accusatory and blaming. It can make the other person evoke the defensive response for what they have said. So, it is very necessary to use ‘I’ more so that the other person doesn’t feel offended.
5. Ask Open Ended Questions.
If we ask questions that can be answered by simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ then it is going to kill the conversation for sure. You will soon be out of questions and wouldn’t find any other topic to keep conversation going. But if we ask open ended questions that make other person to explain in detail about his experiences then the conversation will be far more interesting. For example, instead of asking “Did you enjoy your trip to London?”, you can ask “What did you really like about London during your trip?”. It shows that you are really interested in listening about his trip to London and he will enthusiastically tell everything about it. Not only it will make you a good conversationalist but a good listener too.
6. Ask Without Hesitation.
One of the most important part of conversation is “understanding” and it can be achieved only by clarity and transparency in the conversation. Because it is not suitable to make assumptions about other person and his thinking. The people are willing to interact more to the people who are straightforward and can ask what they really have in their mind. It is also very necessary to welcome questions from them so that they can feel comfortable around you and can speak out their heart without hesitation.