Human being is a social animal and can’t survive in isolation for sure. He always needs someone to share his experiences, happiness or sadness or celebrate his success. We are always ready to die for our family and friends but there is a thing that always comes in the way of pleasant relationships. That is misunderstanding and bitterness. It makes two close friends fight and break up and sometimes, it even breaks the bond of a family. This is totally an undesirable thing but still it keeps haunting our lives. Misunderstanding simply means ” when we don’t understand something correctly and make our own assumptions about it”. When we fail to understand situations and what other person really mean, we misunderstand and it gives birth to bitterness and resentment. Here are some tips on avoiding misunderstanding and bitterness in relations.
1. Speak Out Your Heart Always
Someone has said – “Hurt me with the truth but don’t make me happy with a lie.” This is really true no matter how much impractical it sounds. We think that if we keep praising the people we love even when we don’t feel like it, they will always love us back and resentments will never come in between. But the thing is that when you speak what you really feel, it may hurt them for a while but there will be respect in their hearts for you because you are being honest with them, not fake. It may seem unfavorable for a short period but it really helps in keeping relations pleasant in a long run. Give compliments but only if they come from heart. Don’t try to flatter the people you love constantly just to keep them happy but try to make it genuine. Because love can’t be fake, it is a feeling which is purest than any other feeling we human beings have.
2. Try to Avoid Gossips
This one is simple yet powerful. We all love gossips and speaking ill of some other person but just keep in mind, that this is what really destroys healthy relations. Just imagine, when someone speaks something bad about someone to you, how you really feel. If you hate that person, you will feel good but if you love that person you will feel hurt and intimidated. You may believe what he is saying about the person you like and this is going to plant the seed of resentment in your mind. Just like that, if you are gossiping something bad about some third person to someone, then it may affect them negatively and misunderstanding will occur. So, always try to avoid unnecessary gossips about other people as it will really avoid misunderstandings and keep you safe from many awkward situations.
3. Listen Very Carefully
This is the biggest problem of our life that we are just willing to talk and talk but not ready to listen. Listening is the most crucial part of communication because if we don’t listen attentively then we may not be able to get what other person really means and interpret it in a wrong way. What will be the result then, obviously, misunderstanding and bitterness. When we are in rage about something, we are not ready to listen to what other person is saying because we have already judged them wrong and nothing they say is going to affect us. Even if we don’t know the real story. So, just grow a habit of listening to others before thinking what to speak next. You will surely feel a difference in your attitude because you will begin to understand the situations easily.
4. Leave your past where it is and move on
I listened to an amazing song by Bruno Mars with lines like -” I will break the chains that bind me, leave the past behind me, happiness will find me, today my life begins.” This is how life works. We really can’t change the past but we can only accept it and move on. But what we literally do is staying in the past for most of the time and keep blaming the people for what they have done in the past. What this will do is keep haunting you every time and feel bad about yourself for trusting some person who betrayed you. Try to grow a habit of forgiveness and just forget the past. There is nothing better gift then forgiveness. You may not forgive someone because they deserve it but because you deserve it for your peace and happiness. Forgiveness heals relations and avoid most of the misunderstandings because it gives a chance to move on. So, break the chains that are binding you and forgive the ones who hurt you deliberately or unwillingly.
5. Be Aware of the Heat of the Moment
We always do shitty things when we are out of our mind and most of this happens when we don’t give ourselves time to calm down and take action without thinking. When we get angry at somebody, we just start yelling and cursing them without even listening to their explanation. This is really a thing to avoid because you may do or say some things that are going to hurt the other person for a long time and you may lose that person forever. Just try to be relaxed when you feel hurt or angry with someone you love and at least, listen to them and resolve the issues by talking to them. These are some ways how you can avoid resentments and misunderstandings in your relations and believe me, these are really powerful.