Life is a mixture of highs and lows. While a happy relationship can take you to cloud nine, a devastating break-up can make you memorize all sad songs in the world. A break-up can either be devastating or eye-opening, it all depends on your perception – negative or positive. While the perception is all yours, there are some things which you should strictly avoid doing after a break-up
1. Dating Random People
Yes! Your ex has left you and moved on in her/his life, she/he has also found a new partner and it looks like they are deeply in love. So, you think that you too should move on and start dating new people. But, this is exactly where you go wrong. Just because your ex has found a new lover, doesn’t mean you too should find one. This relationship will go nowhere because it has been given birth out of jealousy and heartbreak. With this wrong move you will also ruin the life of the person you are dating. Although moving on is the best remedy for a broken heart, one should also wait for the right time and the right person. Desperation to find a new partner/lover won’t make you permanently happy, and chances are that you might end up stuck with the wrong person. Be patient.
2. Living in the Past
Because you were in true love, you just can’t get out of the shock that she/he left you. When your former lover is no longer around you all that is left are those beautiful memories which you created with your ex. When you think about those old times, you even start to hope that your ex might return someday just because there was such a great chemistry between you two, how you both thought the same way and liked the same things. But instead of having any blind faith you should get a reality check and start seeing things practically. See the truth, and the truth is she/he has moved on and is happy in her/his life now. She/He doesn’t need you now and it would be better if you understand this as quickly as possible, because the longer you take the harder will be the road to recovery. You should free yourself from the shackles of the past and like them start living in the present. Accept the fact that she/he is your past now.
3. Keep Contacting her/him
Most people do this, because they are too inquisitive about what’s going on in their ex’s life. Repeatedly contacting your ex would only make her/him dislike you even more. Nowadays, people keep tabs on their ex through social networking sites and apps. Their obsession for their ex is so much that they check all their status and photo uploads and get hurt when they see how much their ex is enjoying her/his life without them. Remember that they are not holding you from moving on, crying over something which can never happen again won’t help you in any way. Remember the title of a famous Rolling Stones song – “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.” Just delete her/his number from your phone and unfriend her/him from all social networking websites. Don’t block them because it will only show how much power she/he has over you. Most importantly, forgive them. You’ll only appear powerless if you’re still angry with them.
4. Alienating Yourself
For most of the people, break-up is equivalent to the Apocalypse or the end of the world. A break-up often makes people blind to several other people who can become their friends or even lover in the future. Don’t lock yourself up inside your house or reject any human contact. Loneliness will only make your situation worse. Think about it, what will you get from sitting in the corner of your house, listening to sad songs and crying over a person who is currently hanging out or going on a trip with her friends or new lover? Start hanging out with your friends, make some new friends, socialize as much as it’s possible. Even if you don’t want to talk with anyone, you can still enjoy a stroll alone, just do anything that can drift your mind away from thinking about your ex.
5. Doing Anything Stupid
When you are fresh out of a break-up, you are highly vulnerable to causing yourself mental/physical damage. Some people, for whom their ex was ‘everything’, start harming their body as if the break-up was their (body’s) fault, and some (stupid) people even go to the extent of committing suicide. While there are many absurd things in the world, ending your life over an ex lover is one of the absurdest things you could do. Some people start introspecting to the extremes, and it shouldn’t be a shock to see one of these heartbroken people emerge as a philosopher and adviser about love and relationships. All these senseless things should be kept at bay. Heartbreak is a phase which, like every other painful phase, passes one day. You don’t need to change yourself because of it. Instead, you should learn from this experience. Everything happens for the good, start cherishing your life, and appreciate it because there are millions in this world who are struggling to live one.