Have you ever had a friend who you used to be really close to and now you can’t even look them in the eye properly? One little fallout and your friendship and all those promises of being there for each other forever vanished into thin air in so little time. They were your people, the ones you talked about everything and everyone with. They knew every little detail of your life, your relationships, your family scenes, your wardrobe, they could literally pick things from your room blindfolded. Their parents were like your own, you were quite like family actually. They have seen you grow from polka dot shirts to LBD’s, from 4 feet to 6 feet, from a meek little girl to a curvy woman. They’ve seen you change, transform actually, like a caterpillar turns into a butterfly. They’ve witnessed your first breakup, your first tennis tournament win, your filthy old pyjamas, your sleepwalking. They know the most uncanny little details about your life and you’d think that those are going to stay with them forever because well, they’re going to stay with you forever. Nothing could ever change what you had, you were tied at the hip literally. And then you grew apart for whatever reasons, well there could be a lot of reasons but end of teenage friendships is probably the most common thing there is. Here are the 5 most common reasons for friendship fallouts.
- Third party involvement:
You had a tiff, a little issue, for whatever reason god knows. Or someone told you something they had said and you didn’t bother clearing it out with them and you went ahead and told another friend of yours about it. You might not feel very comfortable confronting them about it but talking to another friend is going to help you how? They don’t know what you two share or what your friend is like. You know better and that’s why you should’ve made it a point to clarify things with them before but you chose otherwise and that little tiff grew into a massive fight and hence the fallout. A little too silly isn’t it? Yet it happens all the time.
- Talking behind each other’s backs:
Okay so something they said hurt you. Or something they do bothers you or whatever it is. Shouldn’t you be able to comfortably tell them what bothers you or hurts you, isn’t that what friendship is all about? Being honest about eachother’s plus points and drawbacks both? If your friend isn’t going to tell you then who is really going to tell you where you’re going wrong? Telling someone else you had an issue with this person or what they said hurt you isn’t going to sort anything neither is it going to change what happened. Instead if they get to know about it through another source they’ll be hurt too.
- Ditching your friend for your partner:
You’re dating now, I’m sure your friend understands that but that shouldn’t undermine their value in your life or take their space. You have to accommodate your respective boyfriend/girlfriend in your life, they’re supposed to make their own place and not occupy space your friends have. If you keep cancelling on your friends for your partner or stop replying to them because it’s your relationship time now then you can’t justify that. It’s not your friend’s fault that you’re dating and you should let them be happy about it. By such sudden switch of priorities you’re just making it harder for your friend to deal with your relationship or be happy for you.
- Not making an effort to keep in touch:
You’re busy so your friends will understand that. But they’re normal human beings with certain expectations too. They want to see you and talk to you as well because they miss having you around and you should really really acknowledge that because not everyone has people who miss them so you’re pretty damn lucky. If you’re going to let everyone distance from you and not ever make an effort to meet them or talk to them, you’ll eventually be so far away from their lives that you wouldn’t know the way back into it and they’ll move on too, they can’t keep waiting forever.
- Taking friends for granted:
I think we get really used to certain people and we’re so certain about their presence In their lives that we forget that they’re just like anyone else. They want to be reminded every once in a while that you love them and you love having them around. They need new memories to linger on to, new jokes to laugh about and they’re always going to expect that from you because you mean a lot to them. Just because you have new people around doesn’t mean you forget about the old ones or take them for granted. They’ve stayed the longest, they’re your forever people and you must never leave a chance to let them know that.