Falling in love is a great feeling isn’t it? Finding someone you can shamelessly be yourself with, no inhibitions nothing whatsoever. That funny feeling in your stomach every time they look at you from a distance and smile, or how nervous you get in their proximity, all words seem like such a waste. As if nothing you could say would suffice and nothing you could do to let them know how you make them feel. Not only does this sound poetic but it is quite like that in every sense of the word. I don’t think any feeling in the world matches up to that one and just this very fact sets it apart and makes us long to feel this way so desperately. As hard as it may be to fall in love, the hardest thing is to watch the person you love fall out of love with you, watching their feelings disseminate and their heart wandering into places looking for solace in other things and people, losing that sense of belongingness. And falling out of love in itself is something so strange because you don’t understand it when it’s happening to you and by the time you do, you learn that you’ll have to crush someone’s feelings in order to be truthful. Honesty will be brutal and painful after all this time. But then again it’s not fair to drag something on when it doesn’t make you happy anymore because you can’t make them happy anymore either. Here’s how you find out that you’re falling out of love with a person.
- Making conversation becomes harder:
Remember how easy it was to talk to them about anything and everything in the world when you first met them? Something clicked and pulled you towards them, they gave you a different kind of comfort and you never thought you could run out of things to say to them. But today talking to them feels like such a task. You’re just trying and trying to find a common topic to talk about, something that interests both of you and it’s not happening. I love you’s are now like an obligation and you’ve stopped feeling the passion behind these three words. You’re talking to them maybe out of habit or so that you don’t hurt them, but you don’t really want to do that.
- They don’t really cross your mind:
There was a time you couldn’t stop thinking about this person and now you couldn’t care less. Your mind is occupied with every little irrelevant thought there is but not them, they don’t hold that place anymore and you know it. You’d rather think about the new video game you bought instead of thinking of them. Their talks bore you, you don’t feel so sensitive towards their problems anymore and you begin to pick their faults more than you ever did. It’s just probably you justifying why you don’t like them anymore in your head but still.
- You try to avoid meeting them:
There was a time when you would cancel any other plan and put anything important on hold just to see them for a while. You’d arrive outside their house with chocolates when you made them mad, buy them gifts, even cook a meal for them to make them feel special. Meeting them was like a priority over everything else in your life. And now you just have excuses in store for them, nothing more. You just come up with a different excuse every time to convince them of the fact that you’re really occupied with something when you’re not. How do you explain the change of priorities to them though? That’s difficult.
- Intimacy Is just not good enough:
There’s no passionate love making anymore; Just a sad attempt to reignite the fire in your relationship which has died long ago. Every time you kiss, it’s just like kissing another stranger, not someone you’ve known and explored that closely. There’s no love, it’s just the cold play of hormones that’s making you do whatever Is happening and you clearly don’t even enjoy it as much anymore. Maybe it even makes the other person feel like you’re in the relationship just for the intimacy or all the action that you’re getting. You may end up making them feel used, which is a sick feeling.
- You’re looking for other people:
Every new girl you meet looks like a prospective girlfriend to you. You don’t feel like even disclosing the fact that you’re dating anymore because you’re mostly just suffocated and willing to get out of whatever you have with your current partner and you’re looking for new people. You’re flirting with women at bars and catching up with old friends who’ve grown into beautiful women or meeting strangers on social networking websites. You don’t crave your partner’s attention anymore and even them meeting another person doesn’t really bother you. You’re just not into it anymore.