There is a very well said fact that we can never be better than our self esteem. We can go only that far that our self esteem allows us. What is your exact sense of self acceptance and how you feel about yourself when you see others? Do you feel inferior in front of those who have more possessions, more money, more girlfriends or more attention of people? Do you think a thousand times before raising your voice against what you think is wrong? Do you think that others are better than you and you don’t stand a chance in anything against them? Have you idolized a lot of people and you always feel bad for yourself because you just can’t measure up to your idols? Do you always have the fear of rejection from others? If any of these questions have an answer as YES then it is most probable that you are suffering from a problem of low self esteem. However, it is a very big problem if you don’t accept it that you have it. But once you realize that there is something that is holding you back from gaining total self confidence then the scope of improvement automatically gets created. So, lets find out what it takes to get rid of low self esteem and gain super confidence.
1. Fake it Until you Make it.
There are a lot of people who looks like the giants of self confidence but inside they are always craving for attention and approval from others. So, it is necessary that the confidence has to come from within. Yes, it is difficult in starting but you just have to fake it till you make it. We see this world is full of drug addicts, people with suicidal tendencies and violent behavior and it is just because they can’t handle even themselves. They are not even trying to gain back their self esteem and are stuck where they are. So, just affirm to yourself daily that you are enough the way you are and nothing is going to hurt your self worth or self esteem at any cost. This is how you will be able of the trap and create a happy life that you desire.
2. The reason is your belief, conditioning and values.
There is no need to tell that whatever we see outside in the world is a reflection of our inner side. But we don’t accept it unconsciously and adopt some self defeating beliefs from unfavourable experiences. Our conditioning since childhood also plays a major role in lowering our self esteem because we were taught the concept of punishment & prize since childhood. These all things have planted the seed of guilt and unworthiness in our minds and they continue to haunt us until we realize that these seeds are there in our mind. There are a lot of false concepts and beliefs that we have adopted from religions, relatives, teachers and many other sources. We never have questioned anything and just kept running on it like a treadmill. So, first we should put a check on our beliefs and get rid of them if they are causing harm to our self worthiness.
3. Comparison is a curse.
What we always do is to compare ourselves with others. It is not a new habit of ours, it started years ago when we were child. Our parent compared us with our brother, sister, friends and many others. We often listened in our childhood – “How can you get so low marks. Look at Sharma Ji’s son. He brought 90% marks.” And the sense of inferiority entered in our mind without any effort. We believed that we have to be better than others and if they are better than us then we should feel guilt. We start to compare ourselves to others based on money, power, possessions, clothes, looks and everything and that brings us nothing but inferiority complex. We have to realize that comparison is a curse. If we still have to compare ourselves then always compare yourself to the people who are less blessed by god because it will bring a sense of gratitude and boost up your self esteem.
4. Quit Blaming, Complaining and Fault Finding.
We just fail to realize that whatever is happening to us, it is because of us not others. We try to blame others for our problems because it is easier to put the blame on others to feel comfortable. We feel up by putting other people down and trust me, it does not increase your self esteem. We find faults in everything many times and nothing is good enough for us. We try to make ourselves right every time and make others wrong. But what we fail to realize is this that they just don’t conform with our own set of beliefs and experiences and that is why we don’t want them to be right. But what we should do is to leave them with their level of awareness and stop blaming, complaining and Fault Finding because the coward people with very low self esteem do these kind of things. You really don’t need attention or approval of others for anything and you also don’t have to blame them for your problems. Just remember, you always have a choice to do what you really want to do until they have made you to do something on gun point. So, take responsibility of your life because you are not a person with low self esteem.