We’ve all moved cities, residences, moved out of our homes, changed schools or atleast moved from school to college and every time we drift from this familiar environment to enter another unfamiliar one we lose a little bit of ourselves, rather leave it at the old familiar setting. Different places need you to adjust according to them so you mould yourself each time to make life easier at the new place. And then there are people you leave behind too. Family stays family for obvious reasons and irrespective of how less time you get to spend with them or how less you get to talk to them, they understand and then again, they are priority. Whether or not you get to spend time with your friends, whenever you come back, you’re going to be back home with your family, getting all the pampering, being fed lots and you know there’s the same warmth that they left you with, it never changes. You may change, and they may change as individuals but at the end of it all, they’re family and you’re going to be the same towards one another if not with anyone else. But every time you move to a different environment, keeping in touch with your people becomes harder because of well quite a few reasons. Let’s figure out some of them.
- Time constraints:
Whether you’ve gone out to study or for work, either ways you’re going to spend most of your day working or studying or engaging in some or the other activity that keeps you occupied. This becomes even worse when there’s a time difference problem because of you moving to another country, because when you’re up they’re sleeping, when you’re sleeping they’re eating etc. and the list goes on. It’s so difficult to set a perfect timing when the two of you are free to communicate that you begin to feel like it’s too much effort just to make a conversation with someone. Plus you’re so exhausted from all the work you’re engaged in that your mind’s not even really free to indulge in a nice long heart to heart conversation. And what’s conversation anyway if there’s no quality of content right? Throwing a couple of hi hellos at someone is pretty easy anyway. Keeping in touch isn’t as simple as that.
- Extra work load:
At a new setting, whether it’s a hostel or you’re living in a flat of your own or whatever, no matter how convenient it is, it isn’t home. There’ll be so many household chores you’ll have to do all by yourself that every time you’d think of making a skype call home, or even a phone conversation you’ll find yourself juggling between twenty other things which you never had to do before because you always had someone assisting you or completely doing it for you anyway. But now that you’re all alone, you’re cooking on your own, looking at grocery and food shopping all by yourself, paying bills yourself, finding a maid if you have to, getting repairs done, getting rid of bed bugs yourself so where in the middle of all that responsibility will you find the energy to just talk to someone. Plus even if you do, you’d invariably complain and whine about how busy your life has gotten and how exhausted you are.
- New people and opportunities:
Okay let’s admit it, new stuff does excite all of us now doesn’t it? Yes, old school stuff has it’s charm too but each time you do something new, try something new, even if it’s food or experimenting with clothes, it’s pretty damn exciting. So imagine having to meet so many new people every day whether it’s at work or college or anywhere. Like you’re bumping into new people at parties, at events, even at random occasions you just end up having a nice conversation and then suddenly they’re so much fun to talk to that they become your immediate priorities. Plus they’re easier to stay in touch with because you end up meeting them more often and telling them about what’s going on in your life. Phones just become more and more redundant over time because you have so many people to meet everyday, where’s the time to make a call?
- Just a general lack of will:
As time passes and you get more and more used to living without certain people your quality of conversations with them also deteriorate. Because you stop feeling that need to talk to them anymore, you anyway end up making small talk with them just for the sake of it. Distance does take a toll on most relationships because you cannot make memories over the phone and that’s what everyone really wants to do. You become less willing to keep in touch not only because it’s exhausting but because it doesn’t seem so essential anymore even though it really is and you only realise that pretty late.