Yes, I still I am a firm believer of the Agenda that says that : Relationships are weird. Like hell, they are. And every now and then, people tend to put forward another certain delicacy of stupendous stupid act that are way incorrigible to avoid. And to top that, both the genders have equal participation in this awkward weird acts and with time, there is no end to it.
And with the emerging internet romance, they’re everywhere. Taking romantic relationships to a next level of creepiness is their main motive. And often it looks like they’re winning. Here we provide some of the relationship manners that might seem sweet to you, but are creepy nonetheless. You can go around and ask everyone (Everyone doesn’t include your stupid half. Peace. )
Taking the relationship to social media
You love her. She loves you. You’re a great couple and look very cute together, YES. No one denying your true love and the feeling of premature ventricular contraction every time they pass by your side. We get that it’s addicting and comforting at the same time having to be with someone who completes you, and makes every login to the Facebook/Twitter a warm feeling, a joy comparable to the one gained only by a long perfect orgasm. Well, the train you’ve loaded on which read as the Social Media Affection actually is a Humiliation one. You just don’t happen to get the sarcasm in the fact, and is fuddled up.
This social media wall, which you think as the spitting wall for every intimate and affectionate information about your relationship is creepy and scary to the other 500 friends/followers you’ve in your profile. And if you’re better half has some brains in the upper region of his head, he will find it the same. Do you think that tagging your boyfriend in Random YouTube clippings every day and posting another Taylor Swift song in their wall with some love note, along with a status pinned up as “I LOVE YOU A LOT ” is adorable? In a parallel universe, might be. In the world we live in, NO. Trust us, we’re helping you. After a few years, you’ll regret every single second of your online presence. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.
Calling yourself as her “daddy”
It doesn’t matter if you’re on which side, if you happen to call him “daddy”, or he happens to call himself as the same. Man, you’ve got some issues to clear out as that shit is the creepiest of every shit combined and grinded and put in front with another pile. It’s as weird as it gets. Romance is one thing, and tackling the love of your life with the label reminiscent of any family mark is another. Consider the usage of term by the store you shop on regular basis, or just imagine addressing your man by the term while having s..x. Ugh, even the thought is spooky and gross. And if it doesn’t coincide with your mind-set of events, than you need to see a therapist soon as your hoe need some medication.
Designating everything with the B words
Sometimes you would even wonder if the vocabulary of these have certain words other than Babe/Baby/Babu. “Hey, babe can you hold the steering for a second? Baby, did you missed me? Babe, let’s go for a movie this weekend. Baby, do I look fat in this dress?” All this “beb” agenda is so flickering in its way that even Shakespeare will think twice to reconstruct the English memoranda. And with time, it becomes a blobbering nice humming out to your ear with the B word and you would consider even the lecture of Mr. Sinha on the Evolution of Human Etymology as a better plan for weekend than spending time with such a couple. And if you’re one; Man, just move a little bit – it’s becoming suffocating in here. Peace out.
The “We” construct
It’s good enough in the starting phases, as the construct of defining two entity opinion as one, and is cute and all in people’s eye but with time when you’ll start losing the individual identity in the personification of the plural propaganda, everything will become ugly. And it’s not gets limited to your linguistic construct but takes a whole new level in your social ideologies, and you’ll be seen as somebody who is codependent and don’t have an discrete identity anymore. And no one wants to be seen with someone who’s just a part of two headed entity longing to be rescued. So the next time you give out phrases like, “We liked that movie real hard” or “We think that the ecological imbalance of the swiftly focusing marketing strategy is affecting us”. Be aware because that’s not going to be fun forever.