People can get tough to handle, really tough. What gets even tougher is convincing them to your way of thinking. You, apparently, can’t do it with anger. Also, You can’t do it with excessive ass licking. So what is the appropriate way to win people to your way of thinking? Well, Dale Carnegie has all the communication related solutions in his book, ‘How To Win Friends and Influence People?’. Here are the 12 ways to win people to your way of thinking.
1. The Best way to argue is to avoid any argument
There is no point in proving your point to a person. Because even he is trying to do the same. Instead, give him time to talk. And, listen carefully. Peacefully place your opinion. The other person will automatically melt and start considering your opinion. Remember hate does not removes hate. Love removes Hate.
2. Do not admonish others opinion
This is a great way to make enemies. How would you treat a person who does not respects your opinion and thinks you are a fool? So, it is important to respect the opinions of every single person. You can’t be like, ‘You are wrong’. This attitude is disrespectful and repulsive.
3. If you are wrong anywhere, accept it
Nothing, in a communication, is more repulsive than a guy who does not accepts his mistakes. So, when you’re wrong, you must not only accept it but also admit it. And do it immediately and soulfully. It will give an impression like, “Like Yeah, It is good that he is willing to change his mind”.
4. Talk in a friendly way
This one is really important. Nobody likes a rude, cocky person. The best way to make a conversation is to keep it friendly. Remember a drop of money catches more flies than a gallon of gall. So, being nice and kind is a great way to convince people to your way of thinking. Choosing anger won’t help you much and will rather arouse unwanted resentment.
5. Make the other person say ‘Yes’
Long before we heard Daniel Bryan say it, Socrates (one of the greatest philosophers of all time) used the ‘Yes’ technique to convince people. How? Here’s how it goes. For example, you want to give your house for rent. So begin like, “So you want a good house that you can stay in?”. He’ll say ‘Yes’. Then ask him “So you want a comfortable yet reasonable house?’. Again, he’ll say ‘yes’. The idea is to keep asking relevant questions that will make the guy say ‘Yes’.
6. Let the other person talk more
Yes, let him talk. Listen to him carefully. Understand. Then, peacefully state your opinion. When you let the other person talk, they automatically develop an affinity towards you give. You give them your attention. This is a very powerful idea.
7. Make the other person feel that the idea is his/hers
When you explain a plan or idea, do it in such a way that the other person feels that it his/her idea. Use the word ‘We’ instead of ‘I’. When the other person feels that the idea is his/her, he/she will automatically relate to it.
8. See things from other people’s perspective
While having a conversation, genuinely try to see things from the perspective of other people. Everyone has a story to tell, try to understand it rather than superseding it. The other person will fall for you instantly, since you consider what he is thinking. This is a very powerful idea.
9. Be Sympathetic with the ideas of others
When you listen to others, listen to their ideas emphatically. Even if you do not like their ideas, treat them with sympathy. There is no point in admonishing a person for a bad idea. It will simply arouse unwanted resentment. It is better to listen to them carefully and consider their ideas with peace and sympathy. This one never fails, trust me.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives
When you convince a person, instead of appealing to the general motives, you should appeal to the nobler motives. Instead of forcing a person to agree, it is better to talk in a noble and kind manner. The person will melt and give you his/her consent. Remember, it is important to genuinely feel what you’re saying and not fake it.